Monday, October 02, 2006

I got good hair

my brother's wife wears her hair natural, in twists. you know, i would probably go all natural but there's just such a stigma about it. first of all, i think it's great but when i see a black woman wearing their hair in an all natural state (not braids, that's not really all that natural), the first think that goes through my mind is that they're trying to go back to their roots (i.e. trying to un-assimilate), they don't like white people, and they're totally pro-black. i don't think it's a stereotype but it's definitely a prejudgment of mine.

i wish i had the guts to go all natural. i guess i think that everyone else thinks like i do, and i dont want people to make prejudgements about the person that i really am.

i shudder to think that every six weeks for the next 30 years i'll still be relaxing my hair like i do now. that's a lot of money, and besides, i really have the desire to be natural. i mean, white people can just get up and go. Not me! but, obviously my fear of what (white people, not SO much black people) people think stronger than wanting to be all natural.

And why do some black people always get so upset when other black people say that another black person has 'good hair'? the truth of the matter is that i know white women with not-so-good hair and i also know white women with really good hair (like my friend luana), and no one blinks an eye when they talk about it. But somehow when I talk about a black girl with good hair, it translates to how close to white their hair is.

Black or white. some women have good hair, some dont. no, but seriously, i KNOW why it's such an issue. It's the whole black pride thing but still. I'm just tired of the whole black thing being such a THING.


Anonymous said...

Middle-aged white guy here, conservative/libertarian, married to the same woman for 20+ years, two teenaged kids, no particular axe to grind about race.

Wear it how *you* like it. Others will judge, but they don't have to walk in your shoes.

Anonymous said...

you said you don't like that whole black thing being such a putting on paper, sharing it with're continuing to keep it alive. Don't speak upon it, let it die, and this THING will lesson over time. If we all keep it alive, it will stay alive.

Anonymous said...

by the a previous blog you said,"Do you know where the term Mulatto came from? The white slave masters back in the day gave that name to their children who were born from the rape by the white men of black slave women. The children were half white, and half black." That's where the "good" hair comes from. The mixing of races over are keeping those awful events in history alive, but talking about "good hair" or being "high yellow" or feeding into other stereotypes that black people put on themselves to limit themselves. I have seen more black people limit each other than I have seen white people limit black people...think about it. This is not about overt's about putting limitations on yourself, as a race. Stop doing it - don't teach it to your kids, don't pass it on. Rise above it.

Anonymous said...

Mixed Chicks Leave-in Conditioner helps to make "good hair". Visit them at

Blkgrl said...

I am hurting for you as I read your thoughts on African-American hair. As another commenter stated, we put more limitations on ourselves than white people will ever need to do. Your thoughts on women who wear their hair naturally, categorizing it as "good" hair, and worrying about how white people would see you attest to that.

To ease your pain and boost your self-awareness and confidence, I suggest you check out this website: It is a website for women of African descent who embrace or have a desire to embrace their beautiful, GOD-given hair. Your will find ways to transition your hair, as well as your mind. Take a look at the hair albums of the many, many women with varying hair textures who wear their hair beautifully and with confidence.

If you decide to visit and join our community, my username on the site is AuNappturale. ~Blessings

Anonymous said...

Here is a video about a black hair product vs. Aveda:

Anonymous said...

Oh, my people, my people. Let's take the shackles off our hearts and minds. Natural hair is nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. All peoples of the earth wear their hair the way it grows out of their scalp except those of us who were brutalized, victimized, beaten down, degraded, and dehumanized by hundreds of years of white criminality. It's time to be free, hon!

Do your research. Start with sites like and then join the Natural Hair group on Facebook for links to hundreds more sites. You can do this. You OUGHT to do this. You are the very one who needs to take the opportunity to stop the self-hatred and self-loathing that gets passed from generation to generation in black famillies. You DON'T have to perm your hair for the next 30 years. In fact, if you do, you probably won't have much hair left. Natural hair is healthy hair. Natural hair is beautiful hair. Natural hair is YOU. And it is ALLLLLLLL GOOD!

Anonymous said...

Im 18 and i've been natural for a year and im loving it, of course I was nervous at first but now im glad i did it because I love the freedom

Anonymous said...

I've had the same thoughts as you for awhile. But I was mostly worried about what people would think of the length of my hair. I was so used to wearing long hair. I wore my hair natural for the first time and I loved it it! I made sure my hair was stretched so it had more length then my hair was braided and I put my hair in a high bun and rocked it. No one WHITE or BLACK couldn't tell me I didn't look good cause I looked good! It feels good not to care anymore what people will say about your hair. Just pick styles that you know will make you feel comfortable.