Saturday, September 08, 2012


i have an acquaintance/friend who is mixed with white and black. she's always been one of those really afrocentric people. i mean, she definitely is more in tuned with her black side than the white side. and that's fine. and her hair- oh, it's the typical wavy, beautiful mixed hair. it's not nappy, or kinky like black BLACK people's hair. but yet, she's always on facebook constantly posting stuff about supporting real black women with real/natural hair. or black women with natural hair this, and pro-kinky hair this, pro-naturual nappy that. it bugs me.

she doesn't even know what it's like to have REAL nappy hair. i mean, i get that she's tuned in with black women and obviously wants to be a part of the natural hair "movement", but her hair is not kinky. it's wavy and soft, not too far from the way white people's hair is.  so yeah, it gets under my skin that she tries to act like she knows the struggle/scrutiny/criticism other black women (like me) with real kinky hair face on a daily basis.

Wednesday, September 05, 2012


i  recently had to attend a fundraiser, where i was expected to donate money.  before i got there, i was already a little hesitant and uneasy about the fundraiser. i wasn't sure if it was supporting the right type of people, or if it would make the right statement, blah blah blah. i just wasn't 100 percent confident, but i was expected to be there.

when i got there, there weren't many people at first. but as people started filling up the place, i started to notice that most of the people  supporting the cause were white. a couple of black people, a handful of hispanic, but mainly white. and i realized that i started to feel sure and confident about my decision to support the cause because of the number of white people there supporting the cause. and i realized that i've changed my decision in situations like this based on the race of people involved.decisions like choosing a restaurant, or a school or something-the presence of white people makes me feel like i'm making the right decision.

i've been this way for a long time. but it wasn't until the fundraiser that i actually became conscious of it. it's like seeing white people (presumably "smart" white people) means that i must be in the right place. or i must be making the right decision.

i'm not saying this is true or right, but i am recognizing that this is the way i rationalize some decisions i've had to make. and what's strange is that in other situations, i don't like being around a sea of white people. for example, the beer fests that portland is known for. you would never catch me there, mainly because i can't stand being around so many beer-drinking type (white) people.