i decided to rearrange some furniture in our house. in all of this, we ended up with a piece of furniture that just didn't fit our taste anymore. so we put an ad on craigslist. within a few hours, i had several emails and a couple phone calls.
i got the first call early in the day while i was in Fred Meyer shopping with my daughters, and it actually surprised me because with all the commotion just trying to get through the store with my kids, i had totally forgotten about the ad. the woman on the other end sounded so nice and i could tell she was a little older, maybe 40's or 50's. she talked to me like we were old friends and she was coming over to borrow something. she was so sweet. she made arrangements to come to my house, which is only about 5 blocks away! she even told me my name was cute (my first thoughts were to wonder what her angle was...).
later in the day she called, and addressed me by my name and made other arrangements to come see the furniture as something came up in her schedule. again, her voice sounded so familiar, and friendly. i was almost certain i'd recognize her from someplace when she finally showed up.
and then i stopped. i KNOW i sound white on the phone. i have a very sweet, white-ish sounding voice (yes, i said it, I sound white). we had 3 conversations on the phone and i could tell that when she finally came over we'd relate in a very friendly sort of way (same neighborhood, etc). and then i got all insecure and started not wanting to be home when she got there. i didn't want her to be disappointed when i opened the door and saw a black girl.
does that matter to people? 'cause whenever i'm in a situation where i talk to someone over the phone before meeting them (job interviews, or buying something from someone off Craigslist, etc), i always cringe because i know they'll be shocked to find out i'm black. and no, i'm not exaggerating. i've experienced that look of surprise before. i hate it. i don't know why i care so much. i don't know why i sound white. well, i guess i do. my mom majored in english and corrected my english all the time growing up. plus the fact that i grew up with a lot more white friends than black so i guess i never learned to have that "edge" in my voice. oh god, did i say that?
i know i'm gonna get flamed for that statement. but it's true. but the funny thing is, i could and probably will turn right around and blog about how ridiculous that there's "white way" and a "black way" to talk, and how dare any white person tell me that i talk white.