Friday, January 18, 2013

grow


so i had an off site meeting for work recently, where i noticed other black employees. but there was  one particular black woman, around my age probably, who opened her mouth to talk loudly about her "hair" ( it was an obvious weave. funny how white people can't ever tell the difference) with a group of white girls.  i'm not sure why this black woman felt the need to explain to a group of about 5 white women how she maintains her weave, how she can't wash her hair as often as whites and then.........

what really got to me was that this black woman went on to say that 'us black people, our hair just doesn't really grow... so that's why WE wear weaves'. o...m...g.....i think i choked on my muffin. i could tell my looking at her that she felt like she was getting some kind of validation or approval or bonding with them somehow??? i wanted to speak up and say "no dear. YOUR hair doesn't grow...but MINE does". and the more i think about it, i want to kick myself for not saying anything, instead i just gave a dirty look that she probably never even saw. but the time and place for just jumping into someones conversation wasn't right. i didn't know those women and if i had  inserted myself into their conversation, it would have made me look like an idiot.

 but REALLY? none of us black people have hair that grows? seriously? and we ALL have to wear wigs and weaves? does that even sound right? well, i'm sure to underexposed white women it does. but  it's black people like her who give the rest of us a bad name. and then to make herself look even worse talking about how rarely she washes her hair. ugh. that's just so trashy.all the white women were oooooh-ing and aaaaaah-ing, which i'm sure made her feel SO special.

i have never worn a weave. i don't even know where i'd go to get a weave. and my hair? like tons and tons of black girls everywhere-grows and grows and grows. and i wash my hair often. not every day, but before it gets gross and stinky. and i would never sit around acquaintance co-workers discussing my personal hygiene- as if they're somehow NOT going to secretly look down on me and assume that about any other new black girl they meet.

so thanks a lot, miss chickenhead, for reaffirming the stereotype without even thinking about it.

7 comments:

Mr. Mcgranor said...

No stereotype. She obviously felt pressured. It is true that their is a racial distinction; including the hair of some negroes. I do not believe, that she was wholly accurate scientifically, in her expounding.

Tavi's Mind said...

She did stereotype and what she said was wrong. Being black does not mean your hair won't grow, that is foolish and a horrible misconception. Unless she has alopecia or something of tat nature, im pretty sure her hair grows as well. Now retaining the length is a different story. It can seem like your hair isnt growing if your hair is constantly breaking due to improper hair care. If she is constantly wearing weaves w/o moisturizing or cleansing her actual hair that can cause damage to the hair. A lot of black people hair is actually very fragile, the opposite of which a lot of people percieve. Having coarse hair does not equal "tough" hair. TBG is right about the black woman contributing to the misconception of black hair. It's obvious that the woman does not know anything about her own hair, let alone a whole race

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sleepyccs said...

You might want to take her aside and ask her to stop spreading misinformation about black women's hair. She will continue to spread untruths about black people.

Anonymous said...

Omg ... chill out ...
No one purposely says hindering things about themselves . You should approach her kindly and explain to her that actually ... sister , fellow human being our hair does grow ... You just seem so angry about it , and as a black girl I can maybe guess why ( I dont know fo sure evidently )But it's all the backlash , goodhair badhair , anyways the way african american hair is talked about , perceived is preety messed up even within our own communities ... But getting angry will get us nowhere , lets just talk about it , discuss , share and take care of our lovely hair . I get why you were pissed of but please dont give whoever or whatever that much attention and negative emotion , You're too good for that and ... Ain't nobeody got time for that ( lol please don't judge me )