i went to ikea today, here in portland. i had tried once before when they first opened and it was a zoo, so i went right back home. things have calmed down a bit there so i decided to give it a try. it was cool.
so the strange thing that happened was this: i was standing in the self checkout line and when it finally came to my turn to check out, i scanned my items. there was a sign on the side of the counter that said that they charge five cents per bag. that was okay.
so as i was finished checking out, but before i bagged my things, there was an option on the pinpad for me to select the number of bags i would be using. i selected one. as i reached for a plastic bag, some white guy-in the OTHER LINE (who was obviously watching me closely) called over: "um, those are five cents!!"
i gave him the dirtiest look i could muster and stared at him for a second. i said, "i know that", with a what---you-didn't-think-i-could-read? look. i finished bagging my stuff and then started the payment process. i then looked again at him and said, "it SAYS that right HERE" and rolled my eyes.
he got all defensive , and stumbled out the words: "well, uh, oh, um, i just was letting you know......"
my FIRST inclination was that he must have assumed that because i'm black i was trying to steal a plastic bag!? or couldn't read? i'm not sure what his deal was. and then i decided that maybe it wasn't anything about ME at all, maybe he was on meds, or psycho, or mental, or whatever. but it still really irritated me.
and then, as we stood in the food line to get some of their meatballs, i started thinking about the reasons for my first inclination was about me being black. and then i started thinking about my blog, and how i'd definitely have to blog about it.
i also thought how probably most of my readers would say that i must have low self esteem. actually i have very high self esteem and i'm pretty confident, believe it or not. but i think i may have low black esteem (is there such a thing? well, there is now). yeah, i think that's it.