conversations

so, i've been in two recent conversations that kind of bugged me. there were two scenarios where white people around me felt the need to relate their experiences with their parents' racism. why would i want to hear some nasty comment your parents said about black people?

and the whole reason the story is ever being told by the white person is to get some kind of brownie points  with me or another black person. i guess they are trying to make themselves appear noble and righteous or something.

 i was at work a couple weeks ago when this really dark skinned indian  woman in her 40s(from india) was gushing over her new boyfriend. she's telling about 4 other people in the break room how great he is. and for some reason that i can't remember, she starts talking about how she was raised, and how growing up, she was told by her father that there were specific types of people she was not allowed to date. she could not date chinese people, she could not date this person, or that person, and then she says, "....and no colored people". i almost choked on my air. first of all, what color was SHE? she surely wasn't white. she is a person of color!! but i just thought, that that conversation was kind of offensive in the first place. second of all, "colored"? really? i'm surprised she didn't say negro. jeez. my vindictive side told me that i could pursue it by hitting up HR and letting them know of the conversation. but i just figured...why bother. all it will do is make me look like the stereotypical angry, oversensitive black female.

and then, last week, i was with some white girlfriends doing happy hour. one of them, who is married to a mixed man (he's mixed with white and black) starts talking about how when she first started dating him, her mother said, "why would you do that to you (future) children?! why would you want to make your life harder?"

*sigh* here we go. this conversation again. why would i want to hear this? why do white people think it's okay to have this conversation with me or anyone black nearby? i guess because she went ahead and married the guy so somehow she gets a pass? maybe they don't think i'm a "real" black person because i act intelligent/have straightened hair/light skinned/speak properly/whatever.  it still makes me feel bad. all it does is keep reminding me that so many people have not changed.

hypocrisy

wow, it's been a while. i find myself being in really bloggable situations and i think to myself, "omg, i MUST blog about this". but i'm at work or whatever and get distracted and forget. so here it is several months since my last post and something has bothered me so much that i haven't forgotten.

first i kind of want to vent. i've been so bummed. silly me, for the last several years thinking that times had REALLY changed. you know, with a black man being in the white house and all. and you know, i keep hearing about white people becoming the minority soon. but now, it seems like suddenly things are not so progressive. i feel like i've seen more racism (  white on black) than i ever have. and i feel like since we've had a black president, white people  feel insecure. like they're losing their "place" in the world. i feel like it's a trickle down effect from the government even down to the average joe working a blue collar 9-5.

maybe i've been really naive and my eyes have finally been opened. i'm not sure why i've noticed so much blatant racism during a time where things are supposed to be so progressive. but i honestly don't recall seeing it so much before Obama was president.

what about you? is it just me? i'm really curious to hear your experiences.

also, i 'm am so annoyed by the hypocrisy in the media about racism. like, someone white will call someone a nigger and EVERYONE in the media ( news anchors, reporters, celebrities, etc), all shake their head and act like they can't imagine ever saying it, or knowing anyone who would say it, or even think it. but it's like: we keep hearing stories about this white person saying it, that white person saying it, but how come NO ONE white ever seems to know anything? or how come white people always act so shocked and appalled that another white person said it? how come no one ever seems to know who these people are?

the truth is, they all know people, likely family who call black people niggers in their mind at least, if not behind closed doors. plain and simple. they all front like, "oh my god! that's terrible that paula deen said that! how could she? *gasp*!" knowing good and well many white people still use that word. they just try to keep it on the down low. it's not politically correct to dislike anyone publicly anymore. and that's just what it boils down to. racism is very alive and well. ugh.