Tuesday, June 22, 2010


[if you are black], have you ever noticed that whenever you tell to a white person about some racial injustice that you've experienced by someone white, the person you're talking to "acts" all upset and starts preaching and going on about how that was just SO WRONG? i'm talking over and beyond a simple comment. it's like they're somehow worried that you'll lump them in with the racists and they want you to know that without a doubt, they're NOT racists.

my husband's family is extremely racist. and whenever the situation comes up in conversation with friends, i never act sad or upset about it- i intentionally don't want anyone to think i'm trying to have a pity party. 'cause i'm most definitely not. but i will bring it up, if the conversation warrants it.i'm not afraid to talk about it. and 9 times out of 10, i'm talking to someone white, and i'm telling them some retarded act that my husbands family has done because of hating black people (me), and my white friends/acquaintances almost choke on their food trying to make sure that i know they are nothing like that. it is actually pretty funny.

it's funny because a white person will never, ever say: 'well, i can see why they didn't want their son to marry a black girl'. but i'd venture to guess that probably 5 out of 10 white people feel the same way as my husbands parents. but of course they'll never say it. so in my mind, the harder they choke trying to convince me how un-racist they are....well, it might just indicate how racist they know their family really is.

and when i tell black people about my husbands parents, they're like: "whaaaat? seriously? whatever. they're idiots".

end of conversation.

Sunday, June 06, 2010


after leaving the farmers market today, i went to one of my favorite grocery stores. i saw a black woman there with an obvious hair piece. she had her hair all done, her "stylish" outfit on, her name brand handbag. the first thing that went through my head was "hair weave". i mean, not that she didn't look nice, but a black woman can usually spot a hair weave or hair piece a mile away.

but what's the point of wearing a hair weave if it's obvious? every other black woman knows it's a weave. white people rarely know, so maybe that's the idea? i'm not sure. i've never had a weave, and as i waited in line with my own hair pulled back, in need of a touch-up i wondered which was worse: having a hair weave that almost everyone knows is not real or wearing my real hair out when it's obvious that i have new growth and need a touch-up?


lately, i've been feeling like i'm really getting annoyed with the tree-hugging, crunchy granola, save the earth community around me. not that saving the earth is a bad thing-it's a great thing. but most of the time, the people around me (earthy white people) go really overboard with it. i mean, REALLY overboard.

i mean, most of the (white) liberals around me pride themselves on being non-judgmental and spiritual-but-too smart-for religion, etc., but don't let them find out that you didn't recycle your plastics, or that you bought products at a big box store instead of a local spot, or that you don't regularly bring your own reusable shopping bag with you to Whole Foods or New Seasons or People's Co-op( is there anywhere else to shop???). Uh oh, you're the devil, and you're contributing to the earth's demise.

and i don't know if it's just me? i know people love their pets. but why does it seem like oregonians are the only ones who treat their dogs like human beings that must be taken into the stores and restaurants? and don't let them find out you purchased your puppy from a store or a breeder instead of a shelter adoptee. ohhhh no...you're going to hell! wait....they don't believe in hell, or heaven, or god. i guess they'll just consider you a dispicable human being.

i am just finally realizing that it's time for us to consider moving. this liberal, granola mentality is just SO. NOT. ME. and it seems increasingly hard to find people like myself. sure, i'm into saving the earth, or abused dogs. but let's keep it in it's place, people.

i cringe when i see bumperstickers that say "keep portland weird". i cringe because for the most part, portland is not weird. yuppie, granola, yes. but weird? where? there's a small section of people that are weirdos. i'd rather not be lumped into that entire group just by living here.

when i go out, people here don't dress up. i went out to a late night spot in the Alberta district recently. i'd say 90 percent of the people had jeans, clogs, no make-up on, some type of fleece jacket type gear. i actually felt out of place for looking nice.

this place is just not me anymore. i went to the farmers market today, and of course the people were all one-dimensional(all white). as the morning went on i counted 4 more black people. i kept trying to make eye contact with them to make myself feel "okay". and before you say that i have insecurity issues, let me just say that i'm around white people CONSTANTLY. occasionally it would be nice to see more people of color in one place besides a nightclub!